Today's God Crimes: Church sex abuse, a caning and a corpse on the toilet

In Chicago, the archdiocese has agreed to pay $3.9 million to settle six sexual abuse cases. Making matters even worse, on Tuesday the church released a bishop's deposition that detailed the its failure to report the crimes and attempts to keep them secret. The upside to all this? At least parishioners will know their donations are going.

In Southern California, a former priest who was accused of molesting a teenager more than 30 years ago has been charged with abusing another boy in the mid-1990s. Prosecutors say Denis Lyons, 75, abused the boy from 1992 to 1995, starting when the child was 7.

In Malaysia, a Sharia court has sentenced a Singaporean Muslim woman to be caned after she was caught drinking beer in a nightclub. For her "crime", Kartika Sari Dewi Shukarno, a 32-year-old model, will receive six lashes and be fined $1,400. This is absolutely disgusting and inevitably brings to mind disturbing images of Spanish Inquisition priests torturing naked women while having raging hard-ons underneath their robes.

And finally, in Wisconsin, a cult leader accused of helping a follower hide a corpse on her toilet will be sentenced today. Prosecutors say Alan Bushey (left), 59, and Tammy Lewis kept the decaying body of 90-year-old woman (also a follower of Bushey's) on Lewis' toilet, in order to continue collecting her Social Security.