Today's God Crimes: The Family That Jihads Together and the Naughty Priest

Jihadist-American Family Arrested
In North Carolina, seven men conspiring to wage jihad overseas were arrested by federal authorities yesterday. According to a seven-count federal indictment, the men --which include a father and his two sons-- intended to provide material support to terrorists and to murder, kidnap, maim and injure people overseas. Perhaps most surprising is that the father and suspected ringleader, Daniel Patrick Boyd (left) --who called himself Saifullah, or Sword of God-- is an American. Boyd and his cohorts are believed to have hatched their plot in 2006 and raised donations to support their training. They also recruited and radicalized others -- "mostly young Muslims or converts to Islam, to believe . . . the idea that violent jihad was a personal obligation on the part of every good Muslim."

80 Die in Sharia Law Attacks
In Africa, Muslim rebels demanding the adoption of sharia law expanded their attack against Nigerian security forces to two northeastern states, with at least 80 people dead in two days of violence. The leader of the rebel group Boko Haram, opposes Western education and demands the adoption of sharia law in all Nigeria, has threatened further attacks.

Muhammad's Angels: Muslim Police Officers Issued Uniform Headscarves
In England, the UK's largest police force has started to issue a uniform hijab to its female Muslim officers to wear when they enter a mosque. The headscarves are embroidered with the name and logo of the force and come in two colors. If you think this is yet another concession by the British government to the Islamists trying to impose their values on western society, you would be absolutely 100% wrong -- at least according to a police spokeswoman. She insisted that the hijabs were not intended to purely cater to Muslim cultural sensibilities but were multi-faith. If you believe that, the spokeswoman also wants to know if you'd be interested in purchasing the Brooklyn Bridge.

3 Killed as Muslim-Buddhist Violence Continues to Escalate in Thailand
In Thailand, a Buddhist couple and a Muslim man were shot dead in gun and bomb attacks by suspected militants. The incidents took place in one of three rebellious Malay Muslim provinces where nearly 3,500 people have been killed in violence since 2004.



Monk Goes Bonkers
In Korea, a 47-year-old Buddhist monk was apprehended for allegedly beating a female adherant to death with a bottle. His reason? "I was chiding her for meeting a man,'' the monk was quoted as saying.



Transgender Woman Dies While In Care of Voodoo Priest
In New Jersey, a male-to-female transgender woman died while visiting a voodoo priest for "spiritual cleansing". While the priest, Houngan Hector Salva (right), is not suspected in the woman's death, he said the untimely demise was "God's choice...I don't have no say in when God deems your turn." Apparently, the grammar-challenged Salva has followers from all around the world.

The Devil Made Her Do It: Mother Dismembers Infant Son
In Texas, a woman who brutally dismembered her 3 1/2-week-old son told police that the devil made her do it. Relatives say that Otty Sanchez (left), 33, was diagnosed with schizophrenia and postpartum psychosis. She told detectives she had been hearing voices in the week leading up to her son's murder.



Priest Facing Child Sex Charges
In Australia, a Catholic priest appeared in court to face charges of sexually abusing a 12-year-old girl 30 years ago. Last month, the 64-year-old priest was charged with two counts of indecent treatment of a child.

Superbad: Naughty Priest Suspected of Tryst with Nun, Exaggerating Miracle Claims and Mysticism
And finally...a well-known priest in Bosnia has left the priesthood after being investigated by the Vatican on allegations that he was guilty of sexual immorality with a nun and exaggerating stories of the Virgin Mary's appearance (I would love to know how the Vatican determined that). Unsatisfied with just a pair of salacious sins, Father Tomislay Vlasic completes his hellbound hat-trick by being under formal investigation for alleged "dubious doctrine, the manipulation of consciences, suspect mysticism and disobedience". Based on the allegations and evidence, I wouldn't be surprised if Vlasic turns out to be a goddamned warlock.

Today's God Crimes: The Family that Honor Kills Together & A New Low Price for Blasphemy

Muslim Family Suspected of Carrying Out Honor Killings of Four Female Relatives
In Canada, authorities are investigating whether or not the drownings of a woman and three teenaged girls were honor killings. In the meantime, the father (far left) of the three girls (ages 19, 17 and 13), his wife and their 18-year-old son (left) have all been charged with four counts of first-degree murder and conspiracy to commit murder. On June 30, the four women were found dead in a car submerged in a canal. (Editor's note: Although the family's religion is not identified in the above article, it is cited here.)

Muslim-Buddhist Violence Continues to Rise in Thailand
In Thailand, terrorist attacks in its southern villages are reaching an all-time high as the conflict between Muslim insurgents and Buddhists continues to escalate. Muslim militants are attacking Buddhist monks and temples while vigilante Buddhist groups are accused of seeking retaliation by targeting mosques and Muslim schools. Analysts say that schools in the area have become breeding grounds for young fighters in this conflict, which has claimed more than 3,500 lives since the insurgency began five years ago.

Evangelist Guilty of Taking Minors Across State Lines for Sex
In Arkansas, a jury convicted 74-year-old evangelist Tony Alamo (left) of 10 federal counts of taking minors across state lines for sex. According to the indictment, the founder and leader of Tony Alamo Christian Ministries (whose real name is Bernie Hoffman) transported five girls younger than 18 across state lines for sex between March 1994 and October 2005. In an interview last year, Alamo stated that "They're just trying to make our church look evil... Saying that I rape little children...I love children." Anyway, here's hoping Alamo will receive the same kind of "love" in prison.

Australian Police Continue Search for Missing Cult Family
In Australia, police searching for a missing family linked to an internet cult have discovered a property being rented in the UK under one of their names. One of the missing family members, Englishman Simon Kadwell, 46, operated a doomsday internet forum called The Gateway, which had about 40 members around the world. Kadwell believed that the planet was on “red alert” and it was time for “awakening servers of the divine plan” to come forward. Kadwell, his girlfriend, their daughter and a friend were last seen on July 13, 2007.

So Five Rabbis Walk Into an FBI Investigation...
In New Jersey, five rabbis were arrested for their roles in a multi-million dollar money laundering scheme. According to the FBI, the rascally rabbis used their congregations' charitable organizations to launder about $3 million. One of the rabbis is an 87-year-old man who is considered the leading cleric of the Syrian Jewish community. Followers, of course, are predictably shocked and "do not believe it". However, they do believe all that stuff in the Old Testament and the Torah.

And Finally...A New Low Price for Blasphemy In Ireland
The President of Ireland signed into law a defamation bill which imposes a fine of up to 25,000 euros (about $35,522.90) for blasphemy. On the bright side, the new punishment is a hell of a lot more palatable (and affordable) than eternal damnation. Additionally, the fine replaces a law that set prison sentences for such unholy offenses. Unfortunately, abolishing the crime altogether would require a referendum which the government says would be too costly and "distracting" to organize. These things take time, folks.